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Read "Sixteen Propositions" by Michael Denneny in our online-Library!
 http://library.gayhomeland.org/0003/EN/index.htm

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Author Topic: Denneny 7: the feeling of being ‘different’ and our response to it  (Read 2187 times)

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Mogul

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Oh yes, all these military attitudes must have been very attractive for young homosexuals and those male-only groups were most surelly soaked with homoerotism. It is not said that gays as such were immune against fascism and racism. Indeed, some are seeking contact to the fascist groups even novadays, whether conscious or unconscious about their own homosexuality. The already mentioned tendency among human beings to seek solidarity with oppressors on cost of other victims surelly plays a role also.
"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right!" Salvor Hardin

K6

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I have read once an interesting book, written by Hans J. Massaquoi about his childhood in the Nazi Germany (ISBN 0060959614). Mr. Massaqui was a black boy born 1926 in Hamburg to a German mother, and was very early confronted with feeling "different". He describes that one of his greatest wishes of his childhood was to join the "Hitlerjugend", and he suffered much from rejection of this request by the leadership of his local organization.  >:) A black boy amongst white Nazis, can you imagine the extent of feeling different and at the same time the fervent wish for belonging?


Unfortunately,nazism has certain aspects which may at first glance be very appealing to a gay male.Part of the early and higher leadership of the Sturmabteilung (SA) or Brownshirts was gay.But upon reflexion and realization of the extravagant expansionnists aims of nazism,one realizes that it will have to do with overbreeding and stiff measures against those who do not participate in the said overbreeding.

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Mogul

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Being different is an experience which is shared by many people, who out of some reason are growing in an environment were they actually do not belong into.

I have read once an interesting book, written by Hans J. Massaquoi about his childhood in the Nazi Germany (ISBN 0060959614). Mr. Massaqui was a black boy born 1926 in Hamburg to a German mother, and was very early confronted with feeling "different". He describes that one of his greatest wishes of his childhood was to join the "Hitlerjugend", and he suffered much from rejection of this request by the leadership of his local organization.  >:) A black boy amongst white Nazis, can you imagine the extent of feeling different and at the same time the fervent wish for belonging?

Weren't we all tormented by the same impossible desire to belong to a species, which is definetely unwilling or unable to accept us as being theirs? A gay man acts wise to recognize the foolishness of this impossible desire, and instead search for the others of his own species. One feels "different" and "strange" solely as long as one is misplaced; by finding his right place, the individual recovers and begins to flourish.

Just like the Ugly Duckling in the fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen, we learn to unfold our true personalities among our likes.
"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right!" Salvor Hardin

Feral

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Denneny’s seventh proposition is: “The elemental gay emotional experience is the question: ‘Am I the only one?’ The feeling of being ‘different’ and our response to it, dominates our inner lives.”

The gradual or sudden but always unnerving awareness that one is “different” leads to the fear of being the only one. Gays emerge as gay in this trauma. One suspects that it haunts gay life in countless subtle ways that we have not begun to trace. One wonders if the extraordinary fear of rejection that dominates the social interactions in gay bars — and that appears so senseless, since we have all been rejected many times and know from experience that it is certainly not devastating — is nothing more than a replay of adolescent psychological scenarios, when natural sexual desire threatened to expose one as “different” and invited the devastating possibility of total rejection, even and especially by those “best friends” to whom one was most attached. This undermining of sexual and affectional preference, putting into question what one knows with immediacy and certainty, traumatizes a person’s integrity to the point of making one feel that one’s very being is somehow “wrong.”

This assault on the integrity of the self, which every gay experiences, should never be underestimated. It is the basic tactic our weirdly homophobic culture uses to destroy us—first isolate, then terrorize, then make disappear by self-denial.

As our archetypal emotional donnybrook, it also helps to explain many things in the gay world—gay pornography, for instance, is by and large positive fantasy fulfillment that counteracts the nightmarish fears of our adolescent years and, as such, is politically progressive.
Stonewall was a riot.
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