You see, "social engineering" is not at all at the agenda of the most gays and lesbians, neither on my personal.

Those who would emigrate to any future gay/lesbian state or affiliate to it in diaspora, would do this because they expect better lives for themselves and maybe their follow gays/lesbians. All these folks are as diverse as the rest of the human population is - there are communists and capitalists there, rich and poor, smart and stupid, family-oriented and promisque ones. While making drafts for a state, one can make certain frames for the co-existence of all these diverse people, but one can't expect them to fit exactly into a tight ideological concept. Being homosexual/bisexual/hetero is not at all based on beliefs, it's our nature. Being an ethnos, one can't exclude large parts of one's own people because their beliefs do not fit into one's ideology (I know, though, that you are not entirely convinced of the "ethnic" concept of being gay). You simply can't re-define the common understanding of who is gay/queer just because those folks do not share your (somewhat extreme) ideals.
It is of course possible to form an entity based on a special ideology and dedicated to a social engineering of a kind you propose - but the suitable entity would rather be a Knight Order than a state, in any case an organization based on beliefs. It can find it's place within the gay state - but so will do many other organizations, based on different ideologies. For example, our Foundation has certain criteria for its members as well, but we are not intended to impose these criterion upon the entire society, as we are well aware that human nature isn't perfect.

But of course I agree to you that any community prosperes only if its members participate in the social live and contribute their share, therefore altruism is also a form of self-love in the broad sense. Also I can't refuse the argumentation of Fridet that gay community not always is that much helpful and solidary, as we often assume - but hey, it's up to us to improve this situation.
In my understanding, the most fundamental reason for establishing a gay/lesbian state is to offer physical protection to those who are persecuted, and to offer place for
various concepts of homosexuals living in community. This would create also an additional cultural development - not based upon
one ideology, but upon diversity. Any restrictions of personal liberties should
only be imposed, if they are stringent necessary and only in the very limited degree which is sufficient to achieve the desireable effect. If it is stringent necessary to regularly restrict the whole citizenship only to gays and lesbians, so be it. But let the dependents or occasional bisexuals gain the right for permanent residency as well - it won't do the state any harm. The politics of appropriate measures I call this.
Therefore I think the best way is somewhere in the middle of the span between the all-inclusive concept of the "Unified Gay Tribe" and your very exclusive conception of the "true gayness". Your Order can make more severe rules, however.
